1.
Court of Appeal Adjourns Judgment On Saraki's
Appeal Indefinitely
Hephzibah: Oya now, all those people
waiting for Saraki to be dethroned, how market? You berra come and join our
KOWA party and strategize for 2019…
2.
Buhari drops another ministerial nominee
Hephzibah: All these people cannot make up
their minds. Why na?
3.
Debunked: Beneath the Lies, Nigerian "Pee
Generator" Is Still Pissing Into the Wind
Hephzibah: Chai! So some people want to use
our piss to generate electricity…I hope they’ll be picking the piss from toilet
seats ooo…Well, kudos to the thinking Naija girls sha…
4.
Radio Biafra Director, Nnamdi Released On Bail
Hephzibah: The unresolved question in my
mind is this – If our DSS can arrest a man in faraway “Obodo Oyinbo” and quiz
him, why are they waiting for December for rains to help them drive out people
that are actually killing others in our backyard. The thing is unclear to me. I
guess it’s the trauma of the last elections that is making these things hazy,
abi….
5.
Osinbajo tasks entrepreneurs on graduate
unemployment
Hephzibah: “According to him, youths should
not wait for government to provide them with employment but should be
employment creators.” Yeah, that may have some truth in it but I believe
government should provide the conducive environment for businesses to thrive.
Government can also use the tax incentives to drive organizations to create
employment for her citizens. I’m beginning to get annoyed with the older
generation that keep pointing fingers at the youth for the problems Nigeria is
facing…Sorry sirs and mas, your generation failed us and we’re trying to
rebuild. Hearing you talk about your ‘golden days’ is upsetting but I’m trying
to keep my cool. I believe Nigeria’s youth, on the average, need to be
commended for surviving in this harsh climate. Of course you can discount the ‘negrators’
and amazing folk that according to MJCE use cheap MTN/Etisalat bundles to come
on other people’s posts to teach us grammar. I’m talking about the Nigerian
youth that has to find a way to get his/her school fees paid, graduate, find a
way to eke out a living, provides his own water, electricity etc. It is upsetting
to then read from those that got free education, had many jobs waiting for them
when they graduated, lived in company provided accommodations that are close to
where they work, didn’t face demonic traffic jams on 3rd Mainland
bridge putting down young people who are only asking government to deliver on
their promises. Sorry to vent sir but I’m just trying to speak for my
generation here…
6.
There’re lapses in Electoral Act –INEC boss
Hephzibah: Adonblivit! So, someone
appointed by the APC can agree that the Electoral Act used in bringing this
government to power had some lapses? Madam, please can you share some of these
lapses?
7.
Mobile Money Transaction Value Hits 815bn – CBN
Hephzibah: Chai! Oya na, plese give me only
1 bn. I want to buy my own house in Banana Island ooo…Even a house in Palmgrove
is good enough for me…Okay, no vex, I don’t mind Iyana Ipaja…Just give me 1
billion of this money na…E joor
8.
Ghana resolves dispute with Nigeria over unpaid
gas bill
Hephzibah: So, Ghana is owing N-Gas $170
million? Oya na, N-Gas, come and employ me to help you get your money back na.
I’ll charge you only $10 million to recover the debt, lol. Meanwhile, why is
N-Gas selling gas to Ghana while we’re looking for gas in Nigeria? Baba, please
shook eye in that matter ooo
9.
Lawyers Express Concern Over NBA’s Stamp, Seal
Policy
Hephzibah: Mr and Ms Lawyer, gaan pay your
money joor. We need this policy like ‘kilode’. Other professions already pay
such fees. Plix gaan pay. Ees moneythat we use to find money. NBA, please cut
out the bureaucracy; it’s not rocket science. Tenkiu.
10.
Aisha Buhari Urges Students To Use Education For
National Development
Hephzibah: Tenkiu ma, I support and endorse
this message. Oya o, my people, the Wife of the President (not to be confused
with the First Lady) is advising us ooo. Lizen, lizen…
11.
Chile Game Will Be Tough, Amunike Warns Golden
Eaglets
Hephzibah: Golden Eaglets, lizen to your
head coach o…I hope Mr. Amunike is not using style to warn Nigerians not to
expect too much sha…Bros, no fall hand oooo
I hope you're praying for Nigeria; I sure am.
Enjoy your day
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