1. Lagos seals Kanu Nwankwo’s hotel, worship centres

Hephzibah: Lagos is working; Eko o ni baje o. Seriously, I'm for environmental protection, any time, any day. The business owners and worship centres should engage environmental compliance consultants that will help them meet their business objectives without breaking the law...Eko o ni baje oooo.

 

2. Emeka Offor, Abike Dabiri’s firms, others owe banks N143.81bn

Hephzibah: The Punch, the focus is on firms with NON-PERFORMING LOANS! Ajaokuta Steel Company ke? Is that still an active firm? I agree with the CBN directive of publishing details of NPLs on a quarterly basis. I just hope checks will be included so that the objective is achieved...

 

3. Jonathan fought me over N1.9tn subsidy funds – Amaechi

Hephzibah: *Yawn* Yinmu to the "Attention-Seeker" of the Federation.

 

4. US to lift arms embargo on Nigeria

Hephzibah: Has the Nigerian Army (suddenly) stopped human rights abuses? Is the Leahy Law no more in force? Can the Nigerian Army expect an apology from Senator Leahy?

 

5. Buhari: We’re identifying banks keeping money for oil thieves

Hephzibah: I like the picture of PMB that was used for this article. He is smiling and frowning at the same time, lol. Wait oooo, is the purpose of all these probes to get the US and other countries to treat our case with sympathy? Ah, Baba, please don't fall my hand na. If we have evidence that Nigeria's stolen loot is stashed in foreign banks, we shouldn't be BEGGING for anyone's sympathy na? Don't spoil the anti-corruption crusade with all the sympathy talks oooo. All the talks of US training the army against insurgents sef...How many insurgents has the US successfully defeated sef? Let me stop talking now...

 

6. Etisalat battles MTN over promo

Hephzibah: ""These technical issues should be made simple for us to understand. And anyways, the NCC shouldn’t be encouraging some form of monopoly being canvassed against by Etisalat against MTN. Otherwise the gains of the telecoms deregulation would be lost. Please explain in simple english all these details." says a Punch comment. I totally agree, lol.

Anyway, what I REALLY want to know is who will battle MTN for the silly "Importer Exporter" advert where the lady forming "hard-to-get" gels when she confirms that the guy's claim by dialling his number. Naija ladies, will you keep quiet as MTN portrays ladies as being easily swayed by material possessions? 

 

7. Army set to establish brigade at Sambisa Forest

Hephzibah: "A security analyst, Ben Okezie, frowned on the planned establishment of a brigade inside Sambisa Forest, saying he did not understand the rationale behind the decision. He noted that the move was unnecessary since the army has a division in Borno State where the forest is located." Hephzibah endorses this opinion. Please don't expose our soldiers unduly...

 

8. Tribunal reserves judgment on Kashamu’s election

Hephzibah: Seriously, why is Senator Kashamu still a senator. This Naija sef...

 

9. Justice ministry writes police over Senate forgery probe

Hephzibah: Baba, see why this September business doesn't make sense? "Our correspondent confirmed on Monday that the Directorate of Public Prosecutions had, on July 27, received the police report, which sought legal advice from the ATTORNEY GENERAL OF THE FEDERATION on the alleged forgery of the Senate Standing Orders based on the facts revealed by investigation.

The Attorney General of the Federation and Minister of Justice has yet to be appointed for the ministry."

I am too upset to continue reading the story. BABA, PLEASE NAME MINISTERS IMMEDIATELY! This is quite embarrassing...

 

10. Probe teaching hospitals, resident doctors tell Buhari

Hephzibah: National Association of Resident Doctors, I think you should be talking to the Auditor General of the Federation. Baba is not a trained auditor and is currently busy chasing oil thieves. All the best in your quest...

 

11. We’ve secured conviction of 1000 fraudulent Nigerians —EFCC

Hephzibah: Can we have names, please? Seriously, we need an online register of convicted financial offenders that anyone can access. MAYBE it will serve as an effective deterrent...Erm, what happened to the billions of Naira recovered?

 

12. Synagogue: Lagos opposes plea to stop engineers’ prosecution

Hephzibah: I wonder what these engineers are thinking? How can you design a building that killed people (the cause of failure was a structural defect) and seek a PERPETUAL INJUNCTION to restrain the police from arresting them or inviting them for questioning based on the coroner's verdict? Naija people! Shouldn't these engineers be trying to demonstrate that the cause of failure was not a design error and they were not criminally negligent? I expect COREN to be a bit more vocal about this issue. If these engineers are not on its register, COREN should institute legal proceedings for practicing without a license. SCOAN should be joined in such a suit. If the engineers are on COREN's register, COREN needs to take disciplinary action against them. The suspension of their license(s) is a good starting point. We need STRONG deterrents in this country... 

 

13. Okagbare sets World Championships targets

Hephzibah: “I have goals written up and posted around my room. I write them as soon as I wake, when I’m feeling fresh.” I wish you the best, Ms Okagbare. The IAAF comes up from August 22-29, 2015. If you have a TV schedule, please share. Thanks

 

14. Driving a desirable ‘change’ in the power sector

Hephzibah: How can anyone refer to $10bn as JUST? Make una dey fear God ooooo. Anyway, I pray that when Baba finally splits the NNPC into two, the Regulator will develop the political muscle to ensure STRICT ADHERENCE to the Gas Master Plan. This is a component of the Transformation Agenda that is dear to my heart. Erm, Baba, feel free to peep into the Transformation Agenda and update it with IMPROVEMENTS! Kudos to the team that put the agenda together.

 

15. Naira now 216 on banks’ dollar rejection

Hephzibah: I kinda like the fact that this policy is making importation business unattractive. What should be happening in parallel is that we are developing and supporting businesses that produce these goods so that there are in-country alternatives. I pray the economic management team that will come on board will continue with diversifying the economy so we can depend LESS on petrodollars. All the best, Nigeria!

 

Sorry for the break in transmission. Special thanks to Jamila Rumah-Bawa. Yesterday was her birthday and today's commentary is specially dedicated to her. Thanks to all our readers and contributors.

 

I'm praying for my nation ooo. Let's join King Sunny Ade to sing "This Nigeria na we own, make e no "pafuka". No place wey be like our home, home sweet home. Make we join hands and think alike; lift, make I lift"

May God bless the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

 

Enjoy your day.