HCOTN 02122016

Hephzibah's Commentary On Today's News
02/12/2016

1. LASG begins housing initiatives, bans okada near banks


Hephzibah: Good one, my good Governor. I have only one question. What is the definition of "near" for Okada riders and banks? How many metres is the minimum distance? If you don't specify, police will take advantage of that loophole o. Ehn ehn

2. Defection: PDP senators return to Senate, Saraki urges unity

Hephzibah: Two questions for the Senators. Uncle Godswill, plix how does your walking out and walking back in show that change has come to the 8th Senate? I'm asking on behalf of the children of Twitter and Facebook.
Secondly, plix, who will pay for the time spent throwing ineffective tantrums? Senators or taxpayers? Again, I'm only asking on behalf of the children of Facebook and Twitter o.

3. Ex-YABATECH bursar remanded for leaking college’s secret
Hephzibah: All of you leaking classified information upandan, come and see your cousin o. I'm still waiting for when they will catch that EFCC mole that is always leaking classified information to newsmen.

4. I’ve destroyed my US Green Card, says Soyinka

Hephzibah: Sir, please the children of Facebook and Twitter need evidence. We would have loved a live video. After all, we watch videos of people as they arrange their houses, clean their cars, cook their meals etc. Please glue all the pieces together and record a live video as you repeat the destruction. We promise to waste our data and watch the video. Tainks sir.

5. Perish the thought of Biafra, Buhari tells agitators

Hephzibah: So, it's turn by turn that Nigeria's issues are being tackled. All the "noise" that you people were making in other regions did not mean anything while the focus was on the North East. Rejoice, South East, they are coming to face your matter. The rest of the regions can kontiniu for now; your turn will soon come. Sigh!
Oh, and I am interested in knowing how ministers are ranked in the federal cabinet? Can anyone help?

6. Iheanacho, Moses can replace Okocha, Kanu – Taribo

Hephzibah: Okay sir. Bhet sir, which year are you in? 1997? The rest of us are going into 2017 o.

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Please continue praying for Nigeria. We need the prayers. Thanks.

Enjoy your day.

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